Once upon a time, there was a girl. a weird girl. She was an enjoy girl, and never could try to be more good for appearance. She liked trick, and laughted freakin hard. She liked to jump. She couldn't calm, even just for 5 minutes. She talked really much. She really enjoyed her life. Until one day, unfortunately, she fallin in love. yeah, love, something that at first she tried to not feel it again. she tried to forget it, but she can't. Remembering that she had ever hurt once, she was trauma.
with the time past and past, she started to realise. But, she knew that she didn't have a chance to be near with him. yes, him. that guy. Funny, she called him "prince". actually "weird prince". So, she just walked in her way and let it flow. She laughted, jumped, and......
She started to change. Yeah, she came to be more maudlin. She started to confuse, and if she didn't find the answer of the question that she thought about, she cried. So different. At before that she had fallin in love, she is a strong girl. But after that, she came more calm. yes, calm. Some people around her feel that, and asked the girl the reason why she became like that, and she answer, "how stupid i am, why i'm change just because of this stupid feeling?".
Time past past and past. Until that girl really sure that she had fallin in love with him.
And, unfortunately finally she knew that her prince has a same feeling like her.
But, there was something that she thought, that is why she changed?. She really wanted to back to the old her, the cheerful girl. attractive girl. But it seems like she couldn't. she didn't know the answer.
can you help her back to the old her?
it's so ridiculous-_-
for loving someone, that is so many question that can't be answered easily. that he really loves us or not, or does he stay for us forever or just in this moment, or els. i also have ever think a question like this. So much question in my head. but i can't answer it, and maybe he also can't. do not think much about it because actually i'm a person who have lots of imagination and always think about everything that not need to be thinked-__-. But the first question which alwys appears in my head that i can't throw it away from my weird head is:
am i the girl whom he really loves to?
actually, sometimes i think i'm not the girl. i'm so unperfect.
beautiful? not.
famous? not.
fabolous? not.
sweet? NOT.
and els.
i'm just perfect in:
fad. -__________________________-
yeah even that i always say "you're ugly", i can't lie to my self THAT the truth is he's handsome, cool. and els. not just physyc, but his emotion is really good. he can make me calm down, or make me laugh when i almost cry. hem, i can't tell him that the truth is he really perfect for me. it will makes me REALLY asshamed if i tell him-_-.
and me? oh gosh. let me tell the truth. in physyc, i'm not really beautiful (i'm still want to say i'm beautiful even just a little, that's normal, isn't it? wkwk) . and my emotion is really really really not stabile. sometimes i'm really happy and laugh, and then i'm mad, sad, and then cry-_-. the truth is i'm totally not perfect for him.
but sometimes people said : "don't look he loves you from your physyc or your emotion or els, just understand that he loves you because you've something that just owned by you."
WHAT IS THAT THING THAT JUST OWNED BY ME??????? oh gosh, let me kick my doll to let this things out of my mind.
wuuuuuuushhhhh.
well, in the same way that i think this thing, actually, i'm afraid of losing him. trust me, i'm really afraid. think that "will he always stay beside me like this until forever? or just in this moment?". well, this mind really hurts me, i guess-_-.
and sometimes, i think "will i stay to love him?" in the same way that i think "even maybe i can't have him? and even i have to wait him for a long time?". the answer is:
"I WILL. whatever happens, i will love him, never left him and never let him go"
well, oh yea, at least, there's something that i like from my self, maybe it is "weird", i guess hahaha.
am i the girl whom he really loves to?
actually, sometimes i think i'm not the girl. i'm so unperfect.
beautiful? not.
famous? not.
fabolous? not.
sweet? NOT.
and els.
i'm just perfect in:
fad. -__________________________-
yeah even that i always say "you're ugly", i can't lie to my self THAT the truth is he's handsome, cool. and els. not just physyc, but his emotion is really good. he can make me calm down, or make me laugh when i almost cry. hem, i can't tell him that the truth is he really perfect for me. it will makes me REALLY asshamed if i tell him-_-.
and me? oh gosh. let me tell the truth. in physyc, i'm not really beautiful (i'm still want to say i'm beautiful even just a little, that's normal, isn't it? wkwk) . and my emotion is really really really not stabile. sometimes i'm really happy and laugh, and then i'm mad, sad, and then cry-_-. the truth is i'm totally not perfect for him.
but sometimes people said : "don't look he loves you from your physyc or your emotion or els, just understand that he loves you because you've something that just owned by you."
WHAT IS THAT THING THAT JUST OWNED BY ME??????? oh gosh, let me kick my doll to let this things out of my mind.
wuuuuuuushhhhh.
well, in the same way that i think this thing, actually, i'm afraid of losing him. trust me, i'm really afraid. think that "will he always stay beside me like this until forever? or just in this moment?". well, this mind really hurts me, i guess-_-.
and sometimes, i think "will i stay to love him?" in the same way that i think "even maybe i can't have him? and even i have to wait him for a long time?". the answer is:
"I WILL. whatever happens, i will love him, never left him and never let him go"
well, oh yea, at least, there's something that i like from my self, maybe it is "weird", i guess hahaha.
-_-"
wawawawa, hai hai hai! bertemu lagi dengan saya, thalita audiiiiiiii! paan si lu tal-_- gaje begete deh. nah nah nah, gue mau nge post nih, tapi ngepost apa? wah wah gawat gawat gue lupa. tentang apa ya? hem hem hem
Gue mau nulis sesuatu. (iye iye tal jangan bertele-tele elaaaaah). nah jadi ceritanya begini nih. gue ngerasa there's something weird on me, but i don't know what the weird that i mean is. yaaaah, gue juga ga ngerti apa yang berubah. mungkin gue jadi lebih aneh. yaaaaaaaaah gue emang aneh sih emang jangan heran wkwk. tapi memang, ada sesuatu dari gue yang berubah, dan gue yakin lo juga ngerasa begitu.
Masalahnya...... Gue gatau gue berubah gimanaaaa. ah gue mah payah, ngerti diri sendiri aja kagak, gimana mau ngertiin orang lain. Gue gabisa ngerti sendiri, selalu harus di kasih tau orang lain dulu baru ngerti. soal kepekaan juga gitu. yah, bahkan nyokap gue pernah bilang gue masuk sekolah kepribadian aja atogak dibawa ke psikolog-__-
Kadang gue mikir, "apa ga capek ya orang orang yang deket ama gue ngadepin gue?". eeeeh, tau taunya tadi nyokap gue juga ceramahin gue soal itu. gara2 gue cemberut cemberut gajelas. nyokap gue ternyata ngerti gue cemberut kenapa, dan nyokap gue udah ngamatin dari lama. katanya gue jangan suka cemberut cemberut begituuuuu. kata nyokap gue "kalo kamu ngerasa ada rasa yang ga enak, tetep aja tahan rasa itu. jangan sampe orang2 tau kamu lagi ga enak." Masalahnya, nyokap gue juga ngomong "kamu sih, apa yang kamu rasain selalu keliatan di muka kamu walupun kamu tahan" LAAAAH mama konsisten dooong-_-. yah yah yah, terus nyokap gue juga ngomong, "audi terlalu childish nak, jangan terlalu semaunya sendiri. jangan cemberutin orang begitu. jangan semua yang kamu rasain kamu ekspresiin. kalo seandainya kamu orang lain, kamu juga bakal ngerasa kesel kan. memang audi itu childish, bikin orang banyak yang sayang ama audi. tapi kalo sikap cembetat cembetut audi terus audi lakuin sedangkan orang lain tak tahu menahu kenapa audi cembetat cembetut, lama-lama orang juga sebel." Daaan, kata kata itu cukup menusuk hingga jantung belakang saya-_______- mama tega amat sih maaaa hiks. Tapi emang gue sadar, semua yang nyokap gue omongin itu bener. Apa orang yang sering gue cemberutin tanpa alasan yang jelas, yang sebagian besar hanya karena hal konyol, itu bakalan terus maklumin gue? kan enggak. pasti ada titik jenuhnya maklumin orang aneh kea gue ini. Makanya sekarang gue pengen berubah, setidaknya kalo gabisa totally change, harus bisa berusaha selangkah demi selangkah ngilangin kebiasaan jelek itu. Kan aneh, orang ga tau apa-apa kok di cemberutin-___- Terkadang hal sepele juga bisa bikin mood gue down sih, ini juga harus di rubah nih. bahaya kalo terus berlanjut wkwkwkwk.
Btw tadi keanya bukan mau ngomongin ini dah. Nape jadi ngomongin ini?-____- yah yasudahlan. ini kan bukan karangan b.ind ato b.ing yang temanya harus 1 kan wkwkwk. Ampe sini dulu deh,
daaaaaaaah!!!
Gue mau nulis sesuatu. (iye iye tal jangan bertele-tele elaaaaah). nah jadi ceritanya begini nih. gue ngerasa there's something weird on me, but i don't know what the weird that i mean is. yaaaah, gue juga ga ngerti apa yang berubah. mungkin gue jadi lebih aneh. yaaaaaaaaah gue emang aneh sih emang jangan heran wkwk. tapi memang, ada sesuatu dari gue yang berubah, dan gue yakin lo juga ngerasa begitu.
Masalahnya...... Gue gatau gue berubah gimanaaaa. ah gue mah payah, ngerti diri sendiri aja kagak, gimana mau ngertiin orang lain. Gue gabisa ngerti sendiri, selalu harus di kasih tau orang lain dulu baru ngerti. soal kepekaan juga gitu. yah, bahkan nyokap gue pernah bilang gue masuk sekolah kepribadian aja atogak dibawa ke psikolog-__-
Kadang gue mikir, "apa ga capek ya orang orang yang deket ama gue ngadepin gue?". eeeeh, tau taunya tadi nyokap gue juga ceramahin gue soal itu. gara2 gue cemberut cemberut gajelas. nyokap gue ternyata ngerti gue cemberut kenapa, dan nyokap gue udah ngamatin dari lama. katanya gue jangan suka cemberut cemberut begituuuuu. kata nyokap gue "kalo kamu ngerasa ada rasa yang ga enak, tetep aja tahan rasa itu. jangan sampe orang2 tau kamu lagi ga enak." Masalahnya, nyokap gue juga ngomong "kamu sih, apa yang kamu rasain selalu keliatan di muka kamu walupun kamu tahan" LAAAAH mama konsisten dooong-_-. yah yah yah, terus nyokap gue juga ngomong, "audi terlalu childish nak, jangan terlalu semaunya sendiri. jangan cemberutin orang begitu. jangan semua yang kamu rasain kamu ekspresiin. kalo seandainya kamu orang lain, kamu juga bakal ngerasa kesel kan. memang audi itu childish, bikin orang banyak yang sayang ama audi. tapi kalo sikap cembetat cembetut audi terus audi lakuin sedangkan orang lain tak tahu menahu kenapa audi cembetat cembetut, lama-lama orang juga sebel." Daaan, kata kata itu cukup menusuk hingga jantung belakang saya-_______- mama tega amat sih maaaa hiks. Tapi emang gue sadar, semua yang nyokap gue omongin itu bener. Apa orang yang sering gue cemberutin tanpa alasan yang jelas, yang sebagian besar hanya karena hal konyol, itu bakalan terus maklumin gue? kan enggak. pasti ada titik jenuhnya maklumin orang aneh kea gue ini. Makanya sekarang gue pengen berubah, setidaknya kalo gabisa totally change, harus bisa berusaha selangkah demi selangkah ngilangin kebiasaan jelek itu. Kan aneh, orang ga tau apa-apa kok di cemberutin-___- Terkadang hal sepele juga bisa bikin mood gue down sih, ini juga harus di rubah nih. bahaya kalo terus berlanjut wkwkwkwk.
Btw tadi keanya bukan mau ngomongin ini dah. Nape jadi ngomongin ini?-____- yah yasudahlan. ini kan bukan karangan b.ind ato b.ing yang temanya harus 1 kan wkwkwk. Ampe sini dulu deh,
daaaaaaaah!!!
walking in that way :)
actually, i don't know what i'm feeling right now. so much things in my head that i can't think clearly anymore.
i'm afraid to ask. i have said to my self "i don't care" but my heart is disagree. it says "i really care, i want to ask you. but i'm too afraid. what i have to do now?". I know i don't have to think about it, I just have to trust him, and i'll find my own happiness if i'm stay walking forward in this way. maybe this way will have many obstacles, but i swear i will stay walking on it and don't care about the obstacles. just walk. it doesn't difficult, does it?
okeeeey,, anyway, now, i know the biggest think that i never think about hehehehehee :D . and i'm really really really happy and i can't explain it well. the time has answered my question! and i have said that love will find its own way, won't it?
i'm afraid to ask. i have said to my self "i don't care" but my heart is disagree. it says "i really care, i want to ask you. but i'm too afraid. what i have to do now?". I know i don't have to think about it, I just have to trust him, and i'll find my own happiness if i'm stay walking forward in this way. maybe this way will have many obstacles, but i swear i will stay walking on it and don't care about the obstacles. just walk. it doesn't difficult, does it?
okeeeey,, anyway, now, i know the biggest think that i never think about hehehehehee :D . and i'm really really really happy and i can't explain it well. the time has answered my question! and i have said that love will find its own way, won't it?
TO? waaaaaaw!
Wets wets ini pertama kalinya gue ngepost tentang TO ya? wawawa pada tau ga TO itu apa? gatau? demi? wah ga gaul lo. (gue saranin lo kalo kesel lempar sesuatu ke muka gue). Elah cande cande. TO itu.......
TRIP OBSERFASI!
ngerti kan? ga ngerti? ke laut aja sono (mati kau tal). jadi gini nih, trip observasi itu kaya kita selama 4 hari ke suatu desa terpencil, terus mem-observ lingkungan sekitarnya, belajar hidup kaya orang desa, berpetualang, terus kalo mau makan harus masak sendiri, kalo mau ee' harus nyari mck keliling kampung dulu, perang vendel, harus argumen, ada pentas seni, ada bikin charta, dan banyak lagi!!! dan sumpah ya, itu tuh bakal asik banget! beruntung deh anak-anak yang di smanya ada TO, serius. mungkin awal-awalnya kita mikir "paan sih ini seri seri mulu, kuncir dua, lari2 kalo di pluitin, nyape nyapein tau" tapi itulah sisi serunya dari TO. To itu kan tujuannya ngelatih ke disiplinan, jadi selain seneng2, kita harus tetep disiplin. lagian kalo ga ada seri, rasanya ga asik, ga menantang, iye gak cuy?
bentar........ lo tau seri gak? gatau? astaga lu mandi pake air dingin dulu deh. (APASIIIIII TALLL KOK LO NYOLOT BANGET AMPUN DEH). jadi jadi jadi, seri itu bentuk hitung, kea gini nih:
"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, SATU SERI!"
"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, DUA SERI!"
dan selanjutnya.
nah nah nah, seri itu juga biasanya dipake untuk ngehitung jumlah konsekuensi dari kesalahan yang udah lo bikin. satu seri itu ada yang 10, 15, sampe 25 itungan. dan lo tau gak seri paskib gue? bakal ngelotot lo kalo tau jumlah seri paskib gua hahaha, ampe lulus keanya belum tentu kebayar tuh wkwk. Nah balik lagi ke TO. setelah gue udah nyeritain garis besar TO, gue mau cerita pengalaman pra-To gue ini khusus bersama kelompok gue yang gila ini.
Pas hari itu, di aula. Dan pengumuman kelompok To pun dibacakan. dari regu 1,2,3,4,5, dan akhirnya 6.....
Alfistya Tri Noviani x-1
Thalita Audi X-1
Indra Nikolosi X-2
RANGGA MAHENDRA A X-2
Xenia X-2
Puti Keswara X-3
Dessy X-4
Viera Minayu X-5
DITO IKHSANUARDI R X-6
Chintia anggraeni X-KI
Galuh Maharani X-Aks
dan ada satu anak baru: Safira Diyanti X-4
Dan... lo tau reaksi gue apa? gue teriak pas tau gue se kelompok ama tia. Lo bayangin deh ya.... sekelompok dengan temen sekelas di TO itu susah banget ya, karena semua kelas itu diacak. Dan yang ngelawaknya, gue malah bisa sekelompok ama SAHABAT GUE? keren gak? mujur gak? talitaaa gituuuuuuuuuuuuuu! terus, pas gue tau gue sekelompok ama cokin ama rangga, gue langsung seneng banget karena gue tau TO ini pasti jadi TO yang asik banget dan gabakal ngebosenin dan jangan lupa ga kalah repotnya karena mereka berdua). hahaha dan kami itu sering ngerjain nametag pas liburan (walaupun diiringi teriakan chintia, lagu dari tv cokin, omelan gue, selengeannya rangga, dan ketawaan yang lainnya). dan nametag kami pun terlantar. Banyak yang udeh gue lewatin ama kelompok gue, dan akhirnya makin lama kami makin akrab. eh iya, gue belom ngasih tau nama kelompok kami ya?
NUEVO MUNDO!
keren gak??? keren doong, walaupun satu angkatan Pensador yang nama kelompoknya dua suku kata cuman kami. orang2 pasti bilangnya "set dah panjang bet" -______-. dan moto yang dibuat danru kami pun juga panjang bet:
"kami cupu, tapi jgn ganggu. kalau ganggu, terus maju"
Ngerti gak maksudnya?-___________________________- itu harusnya "kalau diganggu", tapi ketangnya lupa nulis di. dan lagi2 orang2 bilang soal moto kel.gue "set dah, panjang bet kea ceramah" -_____- moto kami juga moto terpanjang satu angkatan. tapi ga apalah, kan beda sendiri keren wkwkw. ngomong ngomong................... soal beda sendiri, tongkat kelompok kamo juga tongkat yang beda sendiri dari satu angkatan warna biru catnya-___- suram yak wkwkwkw. tapi kelompok kami juga mungkin kelompok paling asik dari angkata pensador (Y) hahahaha.
Ngomong2, pada awalnya rangga itu masih males2an parah (dia danru), tapi makin lama, walaupun masih males2an, dia mulai berubah loh. kea kemaren pas pra-TO ke 3. setelah barly ngomong di aula, seketika dia berubah 180 derajat. jadi lebih sigap, setidaknya kesadaran dia sebagai danru udah muncul, dan kami tuh seneng banget liat dia kayak gitu. kalo rangga semangat, itu juga bisa buat kami yang angru-nya juga semangat. dan, kemaren itu praTOnya asik parah. kelompok kami berisik parah pas bikin charta. kelompok lain pada serius2, kami malah teriak marah2 ama cekikikan. bakal banyak lika liku nih nanti pas TO, susah senang bersama. wish me luck to go TO with my group, and of course with PENSADOR!
TRIP OBSERFASI!
ngerti kan? ga ngerti? ke laut aja sono (mati kau tal). jadi gini nih, trip observasi itu kaya kita selama 4 hari ke suatu desa terpencil, terus mem-observ lingkungan sekitarnya, belajar hidup kaya orang desa, berpetualang, terus kalo mau makan harus masak sendiri, kalo mau ee' harus nyari mck keliling kampung dulu, perang vendel, harus argumen, ada pentas seni, ada bikin charta, dan banyak lagi!!! dan sumpah ya, itu tuh bakal asik banget! beruntung deh anak-anak yang di smanya ada TO, serius. mungkin awal-awalnya kita mikir "paan sih ini seri seri mulu, kuncir dua, lari2 kalo di pluitin, nyape nyapein tau" tapi itulah sisi serunya dari TO. To itu kan tujuannya ngelatih ke disiplinan, jadi selain seneng2, kita harus tetep disiplin. lagian kalo ga ada seri, rasanya ga asik, ga menantang, iye gak cuy?
bentar........ lo tau seri gak? gatau? astaga lu mandi pake air dingin dulu deh. (APASIIIIII TALLL KOK LO NYOLOT BANGET AMPUN DEH). jadi jadi jadi, seri itu bentuk hitung, kea gini nih:
"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, SATU SERI!"
"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, DUA SERI!"
dan selanjutnya.
nah nah nah, seri itu juga biasanya dipake untuk ngehitung jumlah konsekuensi dari kesalahan yang udah lo bikin. satu seri itu ada yang 10, 15, sampe 25 itungan. dan lo tau gak seri paskib gue? bakal ngelotot lo kalo tau jumlah seri paskib gua hahaha, ampe lulus keanya belum tentu kebayar tuh wkwk. Nah balik lagi ke TO. setelah gue udah nyeritain garis besar TO, gue mau cerita pengalaman pra-To gue ini khusus bersama kelompok gue yang gila ini.
Pas hari itu, di aula. Dan pengumuman kelompok To pun dibacakan. dari regu 1,2,3,4,5, dan akhirnya 6.....
Alfistya Tri Noviani x-1
Thalita Audi X-1
Indra Nikolosi X-2
RANGGA MAHENDRA A X-2
Xenia X-2
Puti Keswara X-3
Dessy X-4
Viera Minayu X-5
DITO IKHSANUARDI R X-6
Chintia anggraeni X-KI
Galuh Maharani X-Aks
dan ada satu anak baru: Safira Diyanti X-4
Dan... lo tau reaksi gue apa? gue teriak pas tau gue se kelompok ama tia. Lo bayangin deh ya.... sekelompok dengan temen sekelas di TO itu susah banget ya, karena semua kelas itu diacak. Dan yang ngelawaknya, gue malah bisa sekelompok ama SAHABAT GUE? keren gak? mujur gak? talitaaa gituuuuuuuuuuuuuu! terus, pas gue tau gue sekelompok ama cokin ama rangga, gue langsung seneng banget karena gue tau TO ini pasti jadi TO yang asik banget dan gabakal ngebosenin dan jangan lupa ga kalah repotnya karena mereka berdua). hahaha dan kami itu sering ngerjain nametag pas liburan (walaupun diiringi teriakan chintia, lagu dari tv cokin, omelan gue, selengeannya rangga, dan ketawaan yang lainnya). dan nametag kami pun terlantar. Banyak yang udeh gue lewatin ama kelompok gue, dan akhirnya makin lama kami makin akrab. eh iya, gue belom ngasih tau nama kelompok kami ya?
NUEVO MUNDO!
keren gak??? keren doong, walaupun satu angkatan Pensador yang nama kelompoknya dua suku kata cuman kami. orang2 pasti bilangnya "set dah panjang bet" -______-. dan moto yang dibuat danru kami pun juga panjang bet:
"kami cupu, tapi jgn ganggu. kalau ganggu, terus maju"
Ngerti gak maksudnya?-___________________________- itu harusnya "kalau diganggu", tapi ketangnya lupa nulis di. dan lagi2 orang2 bilang soal moto kel.gue "set dah, panjang bet kea ceramah" -_____- moto kami juga moto terpanjang satu angkatan. tapi ga apalah, kan beda sendiri keren wkwkw. ngomong ngomong................... soal beda sendiri, tongkat kelompok kamo juga tongkat yang beda sendiri dari satu angkatan warna biru catnya-___- suram yak wkwkwkw. tapi kelompok kami juga mungkin kelompok paling asik dari angkata pensador (Y) hahahaha.
Ngomong2, pada awalnya rangga itu masih males2an parah (dia danru), tapi makin lama, walaupun masih males2an, dia mulai berubah loh. kea kemaren pas pra-TO ke 3. setelah barly ngomong di aula, seketika dia berubah 180 derajat. jadi lebih sigap, setidaknya kesadaran dia sebagai danru udah muncul, dan kami tuh seneng banget liat dia kayak gitu. kalo rangga semangat, itu juga bisa buat kami yang angru-nya juga semangat. dan, kemaren itu praTOnya asik parah. kelompok kami berisik parah pas bikin charta. kelompok lain pada serius2, kami malah teriak marah2 ama cekikikan. bakal banyak lika liku nih nanti pas TO, susah senang bersama. wish me luck to go TO with my group, and of course with PENSADOR!
What we call this feeling?
when we beside him, we can't talk normally. when we in front of him, that's difficult to see his eyes. when we beside him, so scared to mention his name. and, we will say, "what is this? so makes me feel............i don't know what i'm feeling right now. what is this feeling?"
Sometimes we laugh because there's something that makes us so happy and we can't explain it well, but sometimes we cry with no reason. I feel there's something weird on me. i try to not too take a lot mind about it, but i can't. He's always in my............... oh i hate to say this (gue benci gombal) So, what i have to do now?
The answer is..... i don't have to do anything, right? "love will find its own way.". I don't have to try to have him besides me. at first, actually, sometimes i feel jealous if him with another girl. and i know i'm so stupid. now i find the real answer that i must trust to ---> just love him with the way that i love him. not love to have him. He loves me or not, i don't have to know. time will say to me the truth, won't it?
Sometimes we laugh because there's something that makes us so happy and we can't explain it well, but sometimes we cry with no reason. I feel there's something weird on me. i try to not too take a lot mind about it, but i can't. He's always in my............... oh i hate to say this (gue benci gombal) So, what i have to do now?
The answer is..... i don't have to do anything, right? "love will find its own way.". I don't have to try to have him besides me. at first, actually, sometimes i feel jealous if him with another girl. and i know i'm so stupid. now i find the real answer that i must trust to ---> just love him with the way that i love him. not love to have him. He loves me or not, i don't have to know. time will say to me the truth, won't it?
it's weird-_-
huweeeee, well, indonesia lose with score 3-0 in this leg 1! those malaysian people of course jumped like a "monkey" in the same way that they forgot they gave laser to indonesian player football's eyes. and now THEY PROUD. so annoying that i want to.............AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i don't know what i want to do but i hate the way that they support their country.
Now, forget about AFF. i want to write in a calm situation. what i want to write right now?
heeeeem, this morning, i was walking around my complex. I walked slowly, took a breathe in a fresh air. So gratify. Actually, at the yesterday night i'm so confused about something. Many things.
NO. it's a lie. i do not have too many problem
(the truth is: i usually try to forget all problem that i have-_-)
And, i make a little song:
"i don't understand what i am thinking now~ I love him but that's not the everything~ Besides that, i want to enjoy my true life~ i really want to forget all about love~ but i caaaan't uouooo~ so, even that i can't forget about it, i'll try to not galauuuu~ uououo~"
And next i connected that song with "susiiiis~ uououo susiiis~". And i know i'm idiot. wakaoka.
And the center of this posting is:
"I really want to enjoy this life. I'm just a new high school student that don't know what the real life is. Not just education or love in this life that we just thinking about. There's many things. Eventhough actually many of senior high school student's mind full of their love story-_- maybe it's about 70%. we often were called "Anak2 masa labil" wkwkwk. but i have to know, one important thing. i love someone, but this love is not everything. it just an acessories of my life. be a free girl, not to take a lot part of love, not to always confused (galau) about it. and i'll know the life is more wonderfull if i do not think too much about it!"
so, i'll try to be a free girl who do not think about "love" too much hehe.
Now, forget about AFF. i want to write in a calm situation. what i want to write right now?
heeeeem, this morning, i was walking around my complex. I walked slowly, took a breathe in a fresh air. So gratify. Actually, at the yesterday night i'm so confused about something. Many things.
NO. it's a lie. i do not have too many problem
(the truth is: i usually try to forget all problem that i have-_-)
And, i make a little song:
"i don't understand what i am thinking now~ I love him but that's not the everything~ Besides that, i want to enjoy my true life~ i really want to forget all about love~ but i caaaan't uouooo~ so, even that i can't forget about it, i'll try to not galauuuu~ uououo~"
And next i connected that song with "susiiiis~ uououo susiiis~". And i know i'm idiot. wakaoka.
And the center of this posting is:
"I really want to enjoy this life. I'm just a new high school student that don't know what the real life is. Not just education or love in this life that we just thinking about. There's many things. Eventhough actually many of senior high school student's mind full of their love story-_- maybe it's about 70%. we often were called "Anak2 masa labil" wkwkwk. but i have to know, one important thing. i love someone, but this love is not everything. it just an acessories of my life. be a free girl, not to take a lot part of love, not to always confused (galau) about it. and i'll know the life is more wonderfull if i do not think too much about it!"
so, i'll try to be a free girl who do not think about "love" too much hehe.
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